


The Pebbles

by Filigranka



Category: Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Drabble, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-17
Updated: 2017-07-17
Packaged: 2018-11-30 23:16:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11473719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Filigranka/pseuds/Filigranka
Summary: Bunch of unconnected humorous drabbles.





	1. New lifestyle

**Author's Note:**

  * For [taichara](https://archiveofourown.org/users/taichara/gifts).



‘Please, Mister President. All my medical expertise prompts me to categorically forbid you changing your lifestyle so drastically in such a short time. I’m fully aware you’re a successful man, accustomed to fulfilling even the most ridi—ambitious goals, but you’re still a man with a heart in bad condition and high blood-pressure. You cannot—I strongly advise you to start from climbing just a one-two floors at once. If you insist on climbing higher, make a short pause after every floor and use an elevator if you feel unwell, tired, disoriented or—That was the fourth floor, mister president!’


	2. Mailbox

“I’m Peter Adorno, manager in Real Estates Department of Shinra Company. I’m writing this letter to ask for your support. We discovered the act of ownership of property in Costa Del Sol, bought by the company for one of our managers who died along with his entire family in a Meteorfall. Upon this discovery I decided to hand over the ownership rights to you, for a 25% of its market value compensation—”

‘Maybe it’s Shinra’s new business revenue.’ Cloud smirked. ‘Scamming people is their style.’

‘But imagine how furious they’ll be—’ Tifa laughed ‘—if it’s the competitor!’

 


	3. Empire Strikes Back

‘This!’ Rufus pointed dramatically at his computer screen, displaying the scam email signed by “manager of Shinra company”. ‘This means war.’

Elena and Rude nodded. Reno yelled “yippee!”.

‘You want us to find who is behind this and kill them, sir? Or just teach them a lesson?’ asked Tseng.

Rufus snorted. ‘I’m sure it’s WRO’s scheme. They’re under Strife and Valentine’s protection; we cannot touch them... physically. Create dozens of scam emails with “WRO” and “Reeve Tuesti” plastered all over them. Use all the personal details we’ve about him in our database. Live by the sword, die by the sword.’


	4. Free Night

Tifa was literally humming, coming back home. Free nights were the greatest invention after cocktail shakers.

Her good mood evaporated when she got home. Marlene and Denzel were waiting for her at the doorstep, looking guilty—and kids looking guilty usually meant some little apocalypse.

‘Please, don’t be angry,’ started the girl. ‘We didn’t mean to!’

‘I’m not.’ Tifa was more afraid. ‘What’s happened?’

Marlene took a step back, almost hiding behind Denzel. The boy murmured:

‘We took Yuffie’s materia...

‘...And?’

‘...played with it... just a bit...’

‘...And?’

‘...We turned her into a frog. You said you won’t be angry!’


End file.
